It's Saturday night. I leave tomorrow afternoon at 1:30, though I'll be at the airport long before. First I head to Denver, then London, on to Nairobi, finally arriving in Lilongwe, Malawi. I still have a few tasks to wrap up before I head out, but I'm feeling fairly stress-free - about my tasks, that is. Truly, I just realized tonight how utterly terrified I am of simultaneously loving and losing Moses. It's possible that this is just a stint at motherhood. A practice round. Four short weeks. My gut tells me this isn't the case, that Moses will come "home" to Portland. But there's a chance that, well....
I arrive in Malawi on Tuesday, June 17th. We plan to head straight to Balaka (via our rental car). Moses, of course, doesn't have a car seat. That makes me nervous - but I guess that's the way things were here for years and years. At the same time I'm glad that I'll be able to hold him for those hours in the car, without any straps or buckles to get in the way.
My friend has a magnet on her fridge. It's an African man in traditional garb holding his infant son. It says, "When a child is born, a father is born." That's not necessarily true in our case. Moses was born on October 17. I have a feeling that I'll be "born" in just a few short days.
I plan to continue posting on this blog whenever possible. I probably won't be sending out e-mail updates, so if you want to stay tuned, check back here regularly. Thank you all for your support and prayers. We greatly appreciate them. Tsalani bwino. Stay well.
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As told by a hopeful mother
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