June 23

Hi Friends, I composed this post several days ago via our laptop and
am now finally in a position to post it. I wrote this the day after
Operation Exodus. I've added a few small updates at the bottom:

Thank you all for your prayers and support. I can certainly feel your
love and care from 10,000 miles away. In the midst of this crazy
story, I feel peace. That peace coexists with sadness, confusion,
bewilderment, anger [insert other adjectives here], but there is peace
(very deep down) nonetheless. My mind runs wild with various endings
(or should I say, beginnings) to this story, yet I know that whatever
the outcome, it is the right story.

I will attempt to fill you in on the last 24 hours. Yesterday Johanna
came to the house around 12:30 pm. She filled in the details of what
happened when she tried to bring Moses back. She entered the
grandfather's house to find Moses sitting alone on a chair in the
living room, playing with CDs (and playing near potentially dangerous
cords and wires). She picked him up, when her step-cousin (a
high-school aged girl) entered the room. What are you doing, she
asked. I'm taking my baby, Johanna exclaimed. Johanna ran out of the
house with Moses in her arms. Her cousin called the police. Johanna
ran to meet Dalitso on the road. The first minibus stopped a long ways
up the road, and it would have been a long run to reach it. She saw
another one coming. Let's get that one, she said. Johanna, Moses, and
Dalitso entered the bus and were waiting for it to go when some
plain-clothes policemen with handcuffs ordered Johanna off the bus.
Somewhere in this scenario, the women came and helped drag her and
Moses off to the police station (not the house, like we had thought).
Now, in any other situation, police would never respond that quickly.
It just so happens that the grandfather's house is located on a
compound of sorts where many other police officers live. It was very
simple for the cousin to call a neighbor to help out – which is likely
why they weren't wearing uniforms.

Johanna's father and step-mother met them at the station. The
step-mother (who Johanna says hates her) actually advocated for the
grandfather to return the baby. This girl will bring witchcraft on the
house if you don't, she said. She also complained that her niece
couldn't go to school because she was so busy taking care of Moses.
The grandfather wouldn't listen and, once again, snatched Moses from
his mother's arms and left. The police stood idly by.

Johanna was released and eventually caught a bus on its way to
Lilongwe. She convinced the driver that a friend (a policeman) at a
road block could pay for her ticket. He did, and she made it home late
that night.

Margaret has gone to the chief again as well as to the local
magistrate. They both believe she and Johanna have a case against the
grandfather. She has to make a few more phone calls, but plans to file
a case on Monday with the help of a government-issued lawyer. The
Social Welfare Officer has said that he's willing to go to bat for us.
Meanwhile, the birth mother Johanna seems to want to get her life back
in order, and says that she would be willing to go back to school. We
are encouraging her to do so, but know that it will be very difficult
to change her ways.

We are holding out hope that Moses will be returned to our home in the
coming weeks. Johanna still desires us to adopt Moses but, given the
circumstances, this may take a very long time. We are willing to fight
long and hard – but we can't be involved in this first court case
between Margaret, Johanna, and the grandfather. For an adoption to
take place, the court will have to rule that the grandfather has no
say whatsoever over the child's life.

So per my last post, we're keeping our hearts and minds open to the
divine. As our priest friend said, "God's ways are not our ways."

*********

The latest is that Margaret will not likely be taking the grandfather
to court. I personally phoned the grandfather and had a surprisingly
civil conversation with him (surprising on both of our sides). Well
maybe "civil" isn't exactly the best word. We didn't yell. He did
however threaten to take us to court for "child trafficking." Of
course, he wouldn't have a case and would only try to pursue such an
absurd idea if we continued to press him. And so we won't.

He told me this chapter is closed. And he hung up on me. There are
plenty of other colorful details I could post for you, but I'm tired.

We are currently in Blantyre for the afternoon. We came to meet with
the Social Welfare Officer as well as our future lawyer. Why the
lawyer, you ask, considering this "chapter is closed"? Well... though
it was a very difficult thing to consider, Dustin and I decided to go
to a local orphanage and see if there was another child awaiting
adoption. From the start, we've told each other than if something
didn't work out with Moses Khumbo, we would try to find another child.
This particular orphanage is just a 45 minute drive from our home.
It's run by Italian Catholics. We didn't like the idea of "baby
shopping" so we decided that we wouldn't try to find a child, we would
just let him or her find us. As Margaret said in the car, "Our Moses
will find us."

When we arrived, the sister saw us whites and said to Margaret, "Afuna
mwana?" They want a child? Eh, we all said. Yes. Out of the 30 young
children, she said only was was eligible. He's a young boy, 6 months
old. She took us to see him. He just looked at us out of large, wide
eyes. The sister put him in my arms as I asked what his name was. His
name is Moses, she said.

It's a good thing I had a strong grasp on that child or he might have
fallen to the floor. Moses? Yes, you know, from the Bible. This Moses
has spent his entire young life in the orphanage. I spent the rest of
the day saying, "This is very strange. This is a very strange day."

We have visited the new Moses, or Moses Alinafe (as we're calling
him), every day since. The women who work at the orphanage are calling
us "mayi" and "bambo" (mother and father). It's very hard to enter
into another potentially devastating process... but hey, this is life.
Sometimes life is devastating. It's a little easier to say that now
that I've gone a few hours without tears in my eyes. As hard as it is,
we both have love to share with a child. And this little Moses needs a
family so much. He never even cries (likely because of his
circumstances at birth), and because of that the women at the
orphanage rarely hold him. The loud ones get the attention. We've seen
him come alive in the hours we've spent with him. This solemn,
wide-eyed little boy talked to us (as much as babies can) and laughed
with us. He's starting to come out of his shell. We hate having to
leave him at the orphanage each night, but we can't take him home
until the Mother Superior returns from Italy (in early July). We're
hoping they will give us special permission to take him sooner.

As expected, the adoption process is very confusing. The SWO tells us
one thing. The lawyer another. The lawyer seems to think the entire
adoption process could take between 3-5 months. (The SWO says 2
years.) We vote for the lawyer! Even if it does take 2 years, he would
still be able to come home to America with us. The difficult thing is
that relatives could come out of the woodwork at any time and demand
we give them back the child. Even at the end of a two year period,
that could happen. So, we're hoping for a quick process.

We appreciate your continued prayers for Moses Khumbo, for his
well-being. And thank you for holding us up as we've endured the (so
far) most difficult week of our lives. We will continue to keep you
posted on both children, and hope to have happy news on both sides.

I've been rushing this post, so hopefully I'm making sense. I have to
run. Talk to you all soon. I want you to know that I'm reading each of
your emails and feel bad that I can't reply to them individually.

Much love,
Cara

No Title Could Sum This Up

Dear Friends,

This is a very difficult post to write, due to how deeply emotional the experiences of the last few days have been and also due to the complexity of the situation. I will try my best.

 

On my last flight from Lusaka to Lilongwe, my stomach was in knots. As we landed my heart started beating so fast. I strategically placed myself on the bus that took us from the plane to the airport, so I could be the first person in line at immigration. I was the second. As I hadn't checked any luggage, I was able to race through customs to be the very first person to exit the airport. I wanted no delay in seeing my baby!

 

I quickly scanned the crowd awaiting the passengers. No Dustin. No Margaret. No Moses. I ran upstairs. No one. I ran outside. No one. I convinced someone to let me use his phone and I called Dustin. His brother John answered (apparently I had been confused about what day he was leaving Malawi). Where are you guys, I asked. We're on our way, we'll be there soon, he said. Well hurry, I want to see Moses!

 

I waited outside the airport in the warm sun, waiting, and watching every car (there weren't many). I waited for 30 minutes. When Dustin did arrive, he parked instead of swinging by and just picking me up at the airport door. I grabbed my bags and hurried toward him. He was looking very tan and slim. He grinned at me in a sheepish, awkward way which I believed was due to his tardiness. We hugged and then he said he had some bad news. From the look on his face my mind immediately went to "Moses has died." He quickly said that Moses had been kidnapped by his grandfather just the day before. I broke down. I almost fell to the ground. Over the next few hours on our way to Balaka, Dustin shared the story.

 

Dustin, Margaret, Johanna (the birth mother) and Moses had all travelled together to Blantyre to visit the grandfather – to discuss his feelings on the child. Please remember that three months ago, when Moses was almost dead from starvation, the grandfather said he didn't care and wanted nothing to do with the child. He said this not only to Margaret, but to Johanna's friends (who had called him weeks before Margaret found the baby, to tell him his daughter was harming the child). They first dropped off Johanna to speak with him herself. After some time, Johanna called the others to come and chat with him. I don't have the time or energy to share all the details (plus I only know the few pieces that were relayed to me), but I can tell you that things got real ugly real fast. For the first 5 minutes or so the grandfather ignored them all, just playing solitare on his computer. Then he told Dustin that he was "disturbing him." Dustin said he hadn't come to disturb but to discuss the baby's future. I don't know exactly what happened next, but I know that it ended with the grandfather grabbing his own daughter's neck and shoving her outside, saying he had disowned her and that if she wanted to be involved with us whites then we were now responsible for her, that we would pay for her funeral. Now everyone was outside the house, standing just outside the gate. Margaret told Johanna to take Moses and walk down the road, that they would pick her up in a few minutes.  She started off while Dustin and Margaret finished up with the grandfather. For whatever reason, Johanna turned back. And when she reached the house, the grandfather (at an opportune moment when Dustin was on the phone with Social Welfare and the others were discussing what to do next) grabbed Moses from his birth mother's arms, ran inside his house, and locked the door.

 

No one knew what to do. Johanna just wept and continued to do so for the next 18 hours. I knew her relationship with her father was estranged but I had no idea the extent of it. Apparently, months ago, she had said that she would rather have Moses die with her at home than let her father take care of him. Those are some harsh words. Harsh words for a harsh man.

 

So the group travelled back to Balaka, without Moses. The house was the most sullen place you could imagine, Dustin said. Everyone was quiet. Everyone was crying. Johanna stayed at our house that night. The following morning, Dustin drove the 3-4 hours to get me from the airport. He was confused about what day I was arriving (long story), which is why he was late. We dropped his brother John off at a local parish, where he would spend the night before flying out the following day. Dustin and I made the long trek back to Balaka. We called for Johanna to come the next morning. We all cried ourselves to sleep and cried ourselves awake.

 

The next morning, we had breakfast with the chief of our village. He and Margaret then went to the Balaka police to report what had happened. The pollice claimed they would call the grandfather. Now, remember, the grandfather himself is a policeman, and he's much higher ranking than anyone here in Balaka. Margaret says they are all afraid of him because he's in the 'special forces.' We knew that not much would come of this report.

 

We waited and waited all morning for Johanna to show. She finally arrived around noon. Margaret asked her what she wanted to do. With tears streaming down her face, she said she wanted to go and take Moses back – that he should be here in Balaka with all of us.  I won't tell you all the details at this point, for legal reasons, but I'll say that we embarked on what is now known as "Operation Exodus." Johanna went to the house when she knew her father was at work. Her cousin (I believe?) was there watching Moses. Johanna took Moses from her and hurried out to the street to catch a minibus. Our friend Dalitso was there waiting for her, to help her make her getaway. She was standing there with Moses in her arms, about to board the bus, with Dalitso there helping her… and for whatever reason, she hesitated. She said, No, let's get the next bus. Meanwhile, some women at the local telephone bureau, friends and neighbors of the grandfather, saw her escaping with the child, they ambushed her, stole Moses from her arms and dragged them both back to the house. Dalitso, having already boarded the next bus which was leaving as this was going on, had no choice but to return to us and relay what had happened.

 

We don't know all of the details of what happened at the house. We know that Johanna's father was summoned home from work. We assume he beat her. We know he had his own daughter arrested for "stealing" her own child. He is the thief! He stole the child from the mother's own arms! So she was arrested and later released. But the police did not demand the grandfather give back her child. (On a side note, everyone here in Balaka – the police, Social Welfare, Victim's Support Unit – everyone says that he must return the child to his mother. But this man is above the law.) The Social Welfare Officer (SWO) in Blantyre said the grandfather can have no claim on the child if it's against the mother's wishes. If this were happening in America, the grandpa would be on the evening news. Has anyone seen this man?

 

After the police released her, Johanna was stranded. It was night now and she had no money (Dalitso was holding their travel money) to get home. She phoned us and we arranged for her to stay with someone who would bring her back to Balaka in the morning. We assume she is now here in Balaka. We are just waiting to hear from her.

 

Last night, the house was in tears. I was sobbing and shouting. Dustin cried like I've never seen before. Margaret held tears of anger and sorrow. Dalitso was crying, upset that he had held Moses in his arms that day but had failed to get him home. And poor little Fatsani (Margaret's young nephew) cried and cried (Dustin said Moses just loved him and would laugh every time he saw him). Fatsani said he wished the grandfather would just die. He's an old man, why can't he just die?

 

Last night, it began to feel like we were really losing Moses. Not just me and Dustin, but Margaret, Dalitso, Johanna, Fatsani, the chief… Our friend in Portland has said that she felt Moses was "for the community." That couldn't be more true. He has been deeply loved by all those around him. And everyone we know is deeply grieving. We know (from phone conversations) that Moses has cried ever since he's been with "those people." He has a high fever and is sick. The cousin told Margaret that she was going to take him for vaccinations. The thing is, they don't have his health record there. I made Margaret call her back and say that they COULD NOT give him any more vaccinations until they had record of what he had already been given.

 

It no longer looks like we will be adopting Moses. And I say that with a heavy heart and tearful eyes. This story is no longer about us adopting Moses. It's now about making sure Moses is safe and well cared for. Everyone involved knows that he will neither be safe nor well cared for with the grandfather. Someone who has a cruel enough heart to (months ago) disown his grandson and leave him for dead,  disown his daughter, choke her, and have her arrested – is not fit to care for anyone. The man, we've learned, even left his wife on her deathbed to travel to Northern Malawi for a few weeks. She died of tuberculosis, alone, in the hospital. He came back just in time to bury her.

 

The grandpa is a Tumbuka (tribe). The southerners here believe that Tumbukas (from the north) are mean, nasty people. Whenever we tell people that the grandfather is a Tumbuka – they tssk and shake their heads and know that we're in for real trouble.

 

So where does this all leave us? Margaret and Johanna are taking the grandfather to court – to return the child back here to Balaka. This will likely take a long time. Longer than the 3.5 weeks I have here in Malawi. We know that the grandfather will never give permission for us to adopt the child. There is now no question about that. We are at least hoping that either Margaret or Johanna will maintain custody of Moses. It's our hope that Johanna will accept to live with Margaret and that together they will care for the child.

 

Where does this leave me and Dustin? Besides completely broken-hearted (which we knew and accepted as a strong possibility)… We sense that there's a greater plan at work. We think that there's another child waiting for us. One with no mother and no father and no grandfather. One staying at an orphanage. It's very hard to accept that the storyline may be shifting. And it's almost impossible to think about another child. But the fact is we came here for two reasons:  (1) To make sure Moses was cared for. (2) To adopt a child. We originally believed the answer to those two things came in one package. But we recognize that we may do both, separately, and that that is okay.

 

I'm sorry to deliver this story with so little emotion. I honestly can't handle writing about this any more deeply at this time. So here we are. And here the story continues…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tragic news-Moses kidnapped

Dear friends,

Cara called this morning we thought to tell us she arrived safely. She said she had tragic news....Moses has been kidnapped by his grandfather.  Dustin, Margaret and the birth mother went to meet with the grandfather.  He was very hostile to his daughter, shoved her, grabbed Moses and ran into his  house and locked the door. They went to the SWO but have not been able to do anything to get Moses back.  The grandfather is a police officer and it appears not very kind.  Dustin and Cara fear for Moses's safety. Please pray.  I'll post more as information becomes available.

Cara's mom (Cindy)

Here I Come!

It's Saturday night. I leave tomorrow afternoon at 1:30, though I'll be at the airport long before. First I head to Denver, then London, on to Nairobi, finally arriving in Lilongwe, Malawi. I still have a few tasks to wrap up before I head out, but I'm feeling fairly stress-free - about my tasks, that is. Truly, I just realized tonight how utterly terrified I am of simultaneously loving and losing Moses. It's possible that this is just a stint at motherhood. A practice round. Four short weeks. My gut tells me this isn't the case, that Moses will come "home" to Portland. But there's a chance that, well....

I arrive in Malawi on Tuesday, June 17th. We plan to head straight to Balaka (via our rental car). Moses, of course, doesn't have a car seat. That makes me nervous - but I guess that's the way things were here for years and years. At the same time I'm glad that I'll be able to hold him for those hours in the car, without any straps or buckles to get in the way.

My friend has a magnet on her fridge. It's an African man in traditional garb holding his infant son. It says, "When a child is born, a father is born." That's not necessarily true in our case. Moses was born on October 17. I have a feeling that I'll be "born" in just a few short days.

I plan to continue posting on this blog whenever possible. I probably won't be sending out e-mail updates, so if you want to stay tuned, check back here regularly. Thank you all for your support and prayers. We greatly appreciate them. Tsalani bwino. Stay well.

Text Message from Dustin

No news. Dominic went to Mangochi and they couldn't meet. Possibly tomorrow. Sorry.


(Dominic is the SWO, or Social Welfare Officer)

Moses Moses Everywhere But Not a Cheek to Kiss

Today I received some new Moses photos in the mail. They are a hoot! There's Moses with his shirt off, Moses the elf, rapper Moses in his too tight overalls, thumbs up Moses, and my hand tastes good Moses. There's a Moses for every day of the week.

I look forward to meeting real, tangible, huggable Moses...which I will do exactly one week from today. (I'm writing around midnight.)

Now the news from Lake Wobegone. I mean Malawi. Dustin decided to rent a car, as we'll likely have a number of trips to make to and from the city. I called him this morning, while he was driving, to hear the update on the meeting with the grandfather. Before Dustin could tell me much, I heard a Malawian's voice, as though Dustin were going through one of the many checkpoints along the road. Dustin said he'd have to call me back. About an hour later I learned that Dustin had been pulled over by the police (on his first day on the road). He learned something we have not come across in all our years in Malawi: it is illegal to drive while talking on a cell phone. Yes friends, it's true. Dustin's driver's license was taken away and he was told to report to court the following morning at 7:30 am.

Fortunately Margaret's nephew is also a policeman. He was able to pull some strings and convinced the officer to "settle things out of court." I think you know what that means... Okay, I'll spell it for you. B R I B E .

Dustin told me more about the SWO's meeting with Moses' Malawian grandfather. He said the grandfather "is proving to be uncooperative." The SWO set up another meeting with him for Wednesday morning. So we basically have no news. Dustin said it well. "We're in a holding pattern." We're not sure all of the emotions and reasoning contributing to the grandfather's lack of cooperation. Though I suspect a lot of it is pride and shame. He knew that his grandson was living in terrible conditions (he knew because Margaret told him) and he made no move to try to help him. In fact, he said and I quote, "Just take the child." He conveyed to the SWO that he was upset that the Balaka police did not try to get a hold of him about the child. (The grandfather is a policeman in Blantyre.) It seems like his reputation may be on the line a bit. He certainly did not make any move to care for the child once Margaret informed him of the baby's poor health and temporary abandonment.

Though this may all sound a bit doom and gloom, Dustin and I don't see it that way. We are both impressed with the way the SWO is advocating on the behalf of Moses, as well as ourselves. Even his language about the grandfather being "uncooperative" is telling about how he sees the situation. He wants Moses to be well cared for. If the grandfather is willing to give that care, the SWO will surely know on Wed. If not, then he seems like he's ready to go to bat for us.

Also, this just in: The police officer who pulled Dustin over has dropped the issue. Dustin and John are instead going to take him to our favorite little joint, Mlambe Motel, for a few drinks and a round of pool. This is Malawi.

On My Way!

Hi Friends,
I'll be heading to Malawi a week from Sunday: June 15th. I've rebooked a return ticket for Dustin and we both hope to be home in Portland on July 13th with a cuddly little somebody. That's our hope anyway.

Here's the latest adoption update. There's been some difficulty getting a hold of Moses' grandfather. The SWO (I hope you know the acronym now) finally talked to him today and set up an appointment to meet him on Monday morning. Basically, the SWO just needs to hear the grandfather say that he will consent to an adoption. If he does not give consent, then he also has to be willing to take Moses in and care for him. We're pretty sure he doesn't want to do that - given what he told Margaret two months ago. Even so, this has turned into a somewhat lengthy formality. Still, it's better to know the grandfather's feelings right now, up front, before things move forward.

Beyond that, there's not much more to report. Dustin and his brother John have decided to take a mini vacation this weekend to Cape Maclear on Lake Malawi. It's a fun little backpacker's place where you can kayak, snorkel, and watch the fishermen. Margaret is watching Moses while these two brothers take a few days to recharge and get ready for the long week(s) ahead.

I'm very excited about my trip and can't wait to arrive. It's funny, but I say that every trip will be my "last trip," for a while at least. And every time, I end up back there just a few months down the road. I jokingly told Margaret that she only found the baby as a ploy to get to see me sooner! Margaret is family to us. I love spending time with her, chatting with her, learning from her. Those few of you who have met her know (John, Desirée, Liz). She has so much to give and share. Now she is sharing a baby with us.

Hallelujah

Our prayers have been answered. Just moments ago, Dustin met with a very kind and compassionate Social Welfare Officer. It turns out he DID think we were other people. Dustin cleared that up and told him our full story. The first step is for the grandfather of Moses to give his consent to an adoption. He would basically have to co-sign a letter with the birth mother, relinquishing the child for adoption and emigration. The SWO plans to call him today and discuss the situation. I'm a little nervous because I don't know how much the mother has communicated with her father (Moses' only other known living relative). I hope he's not taken by surprise. As far as I know, she last talked to him two months ago. A lot can change in two months.

We're taking things step by step. Dustin did an excellent job "buttering up" the official. I don't mean that to sound as awful as it does. Dustin said that we wanted to play by the rules, do everything according to proper procedures, and not rush the system. I can just imagine the smile on the officer's face. He really likes rules.

We will wait to hear about the conversation with the grandfather before moving forward. Dustin told the SWO that his return ticket to America was in a few weeks. He seemed to nod as if to say, "I think we can try to make that work." I guess anything is possible.

Just to mix things up a little bit, I've decided it's time for me to go over. I'm going to buy myself a ticket tomorrow for these dates: June 15 - July 9th. It's high time I meet this little man. Of course this would mean that we're not coming back on June 19th - Dustin's original return date. But even if adoption proceedings could go that quickly, it will still take a few weeks for immigration approval etc.

This is my understanding of our next steps:
-Talk to the grandfather and have him sign a joint letter with the birth mother
-Have a home inspection by the local SWO in our town, Balaka

Once these steps are done, I believe we'll be looking at lawyers and court dates etc. Dustin didn't want to jump the gun and start pushing for more details. The SWO wants us to take things step by step and so we will.

I'm going to try to rebook Dustin a return ticket for July 9th (same as me). We'll just move forward in faith that the timing will work out.

Material Girl in a Make-Believe World

“There is nothing controversial about the adoption. There is just a lot of bureaucracy and administration and papers that have to be gone through. This adoption was the beginning of the creation of adoption laws in Malawi. Up until this time there were no adoption laws in Malawi."

-Madonna


I have, on my lap, a copy of the Law of Malawi, Adoption of Children Act. Chapter 26. Section 1. Created in 1949. Last revised in 1968. Where does she come off?

As most of you know, I hate talking and thinking about Madonna (did you know Malawi made her an honorary citizen for that day of work she did last year?). Even so, she came across my radar today while I was searching for some info online. And guess what? We have her lawyer's name. Why not? Dustin hasn't been able to get a hold of the other lawyer who comes recommended. We at least know Madonna's guy gets the job done! Wouldn't that be such a hoot - using the same lawyer as Madonna. We'll see what happens. I forwarded Dustin his phone number. Maybe they can chat today!

To Be Expected

Dustin did not meet with the Social Welfare Officer (SWO) today. Here is what transpired. The birth mother was supposed to have dinner with everyone on Monday night (the third night in a row). They were to talk about going to Blantyre and sort out any kinks in how they were going to chat with the officials there. The birth mother never showed up for dinner. As such, she didn't know what time to arrive the next morning for going to Blantyre.

I talked to a somewhat frustrated Dustin last night, who decided to wait until 8 am at the latest to leave for the city. This morning I talked to him. The birth mother had not shown up, so the others left without her. The crew arrived in the city at 10 am. They immediately went to the SW office. Our man was not there. Dustin tried calling him. He was in a meeting. He said, "Call back in 30 minutes." He did. Then the SWO said, "Call back in 30 minutes." And he did again, and again, and again. Each time the SWO seemed very annoyed that Dustin was once again calling, and yet again said, "Call back in 30 minutes." The grouchy SWO told Dustin to just brief another SWO (lower on the totem pole) who could, in turn, inform him of our situation. Dustin went to the office and everyone was gone- either at a funeral or attending to the Malawi/South Africa fiasco.

The plan now, is to meet the SWO at 8 am (sharp, he said) tomorrow. The birth mother finally came by the house in Balaka and will be traveling to join our motley crew for this meeting. Dustin's sounding pretty negative about it. His words: "The Social Welfare Officer is treating me like shit." This is what we expected from our past interactions from him. But, still, we didn't want to project that past negativity onto the present situation. I'm having an easier time with that than Dustin. The 10,000 mile distance is good for something (if only one thing).

One reason he could be treating us like shit is... he has our story confused with someone elses. On their last phone call together, the SWO told Dustin, "I talked to your wife 10 minutes ago and she said you could meet me on Thursday." All whites look and sound alike. I did not call him at all. There could be another family in a similar situation that is causing the grumpiness (or contributing to it, I should say).

SO... Pray hard that his little heart of ice melts. That he can hear our story. That he has the best interest of Moses in mind. That the birth mother arrives in time. That the lawyer will actually answer his phone. That Dustin simmers down. And that Moses sits still for the meeting (a great feat, apparently).

When I was chatting with Dustin, he was walking up and down the aisles of Game (a huge South African box store in the city) to find a new hotplate. He was trying to feed Moses and talk to me at the same time. We had to end our conversation a bit short (and unhappily). I'll let you know more when I do. In the meantime, pray hard.

"Mamamamamamama." -Moses Khumbo

Moses sounds like a little dare devil. I'm told he's going to be the kind of child who's constantly moving, getting into something, and hurting himself. Dustin says that he's a lot of work. He can't crawl yet but he can scoot. Margaret says he moves "like a snake." Apparently he can get from one side of the room to the other. We have a lot to do to babyproof our house here. He just moves constantly, from sun-up to sun-down. Dustin jokingly said that he's worried Moses will suffer brain damage. He often falls off people's laps and onto his head - on the concrete floors of our house in Malawi.

Dustin is getting to know his role as father. I gather that it's a difficult transition for both him and Margaret. Dustin said that when Moses cries the Malawian women come and take the baby from him, assuming that it's not the father's job to comfort the child. Right now Moses sleeps with Dustin, and spits up on him, and is fed by him. But Margaret is still bathing him and comforting him when he cries. Moses can say "mama." Usually it's "mamamamamamamama." It's the most adorable thing I've ever heard and yet it's bittersweet because I want to hear those words directed toward me. Whatever grief I have in not being there is overcome with gratitude that he does have a woman in his life whom he sees as "mama." Margaret is an amazing woman. And there's nothing that I could ever do or say to convey my appreciation for the way she's taken care of this little boy.

Dustin, John, Moses, Margaret, and Johanna (his birth mother) have an appointment to see the Social Welfare Officer in Blantyre. It takes 2 hours of travel time to get to the city by bus. Plus there are the hours waiting for the bus to fill up... I haven't been keeping up with the news very well, but apparently Malawian immigrants in South Africa are having to flee due to violence. As strange as it may sound, this may affect our adoption. The Social Welfare Dept. is overseeing the return of these victims of violence to Malawi. The officer conveyed that he's going to be very busy in the coming weeks, dealing with this situation. I'm hoping we'll find some hidden blessing in this...

That's all for tonight. I'm looking forward to hearing what comes of the meeting on Tuesday.