Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Now that's what I'm talking about!

8/26 Text message from Dustin, sent at 11:22 PM:

We have a court date... Sept. 9



I would like to see those dot, dot, dots replaced by exclamation marks. We have a court date!!! September 9th. Two weeks from yesterday.

Dustin had missed a call from the lawyer's office on Tuesday so he tried calling the office Wednesday morning. No answer. Just after he called, our nun friend Sister Mary phoned in. She had just spoken with our lawyer who said we were FIXED in the court register for September 9th. This is as solid a court date as we could ask for. Moments later, the lawyer called Dustin personally with the same news. He said that Dustin should come in to do some more paperwork before the big day.

We have a court date!!! September 9th.

This news smacked me in the face when I thought there would be no news for another week. Anxiety pooled up in the in the pit of my stomach. Me, a mother? I could actually have a little child in just a few more weeks? Don't they know I'm not ready?

Adoption just flings us into parenthood. There's no set nine-month warning. It just happens when it happens. I can't even imagine our transition. Hi husband I haven't seen in 73 days (also known as 10.4 weeks). Hi little child who is suddenly my son. Goodnight husband who is exhausted from 48 hours of travel with an infant (and months of grief and depression). Goodnight son... I mean Good morning? His little biological clock will be spinning around. He'll be in a new country with new smells and a new bed with an almost-new woman by his side. How curious those eyes will be.

It's interesting. It's usually the mother who is exhausted from the physical pain of birth. Though we'll both undoubtedly be exhausted (and already are!), Dustin is the one who will be completely drained. I wish there was a way to give him more support now.

Actually, Dustin did have a little mini recharge. He and our American and Italian friends (3 of them) went to the national park for two nights. They stayed at a rustic little place there where one falls asleep listening to the sounds of hippos and warthogs grunting. It's a place where one carries a lantern up a hill to a tent, escorted by armed guards ready to take out any attacking wild beasts. It's a place where one sits out on a wooden deck watching the fireflies turn off and on, off and on in the vines and the brush surrounding the little niche known as Chinguni Lodge. It's a place where Dustin was able to rest. And see elephants! I am so jealous. They didn't come out for me when we went there together before. This time, Dustin and our friends explored the park via truck and almost ran right into a mama elephant. They had to make a quick getaway!

Oh the adventures...

Oh the adventures!!!

Pray for a September 9th court date. This should be the only court date. The day when the judge hears our pleas, sees little Moses, and agrees with our witnesses that this child is an orphan who needs a home like ours. Let's pack the next two weeks with positive thinking and prayer.

Monday, August 25, 2008

On recess until September

As you guessed, the court date didn't happen on Friday. Our lawyer was being very optimistic. Translation: He wasn't exactly telling the truth. But then again, he's a lawyer.

Apparently the judges are on recess until the "beginning" of September. This could mean the 1st, or the 15th, or later... Time will tell. When we first rescheduled Dustin's September 23rd return date it seemed so far away. Now the time frame feels claustrophobic.

The lawyer's assistant told Dustin that she would probably want him to come to the city on Tuesday to sign some more papers. If this happens, it will likely be the only "event" until the beginning of September (which is much nearer now than it was several days ago when we received the news).

Meanwhile Moses continues to grow and develop. He'll be eight months old on the 1st. It's hard to believe he was five (going on six) months old when we met him. It's not easy being away from him during this very fun stage of development (it'd be hard even if he wasn't developing at all) but it's nice that Dustin is able to visit daily. As our rental car is becoming much too expensive, we thought Dustin would have to forgo his regular trips to the orphanage. But an unexpected gift gave us enough for one more week, and a potential gift may take us a little further. (Thank you!)

Dustin and I knew this adoption would be difficult. I said on my very first post that we knew we were possibly setting ourselves up for deep grief. We "knew" that... And we didn't. And I'm glad we didn't. I'm glad that when we started our nonprofit Bola Moyo we had no idea how hard it would be working in a place and culture like Malawi. (You're getting a little taste via this blog.) When we over think and over analyze we often become paralyzed. Sometimes we just have to jump in. Take life by the horns. Then see what happens. This is the stuff of interesting stories. This is why you're reading my blog. (Or maybe it's just because you love me and Dustin! Insert toothy grin here.)

Either way, here's to all of our stories!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Would you be surprised if I told you we were still waiting?

The lawyer never called to confirm our court date. He said he would call on Friday (last week) or by Monday at the latest. As of Wednesday night there was no word. Neither he nor his assistant have returned Dustin's calls and text messages. We can't even get a hold of our nun friend...

So, maybe we're going to court on Friday. Maybe not. I guess we won't really know until the end of the day on Thursday (or maybe even Friday morning). Dustin is under strict orders to text message me at any time of day or night when he has news. I'll pass it along as soon as I know something.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Courtdate, is that you?

8/15 Text Message from Dustin - Received at 3:30 this morning:

[Lawyer] will confirm today but it sounds like we are in the court register for next Friday. He explained that it is still tentative. We'll see. I guess.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Oh dear Courtdate, where art thee?

There's not a lot to report but since a lot of you are asking me what's happening I feel it warrants a post. This doesn't mean you have to stop asking though. :) The lawyer was supposed to get our court date on Monday. He could not be reached by phone on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. Dustin did, however, reach his assistant on Thursday. She asked him to drive to Blantyre (again) to sign the adoption petition. What this basically means is... that the lawyer hasn't even applied for the date yet. The petition is the most basic of adoption documents. Dustin had already signed the petition on my behalf (as my power of attorney) but for some reason they didn't have him sign it. We thought that was odd at the time but chalked it up to the fact that Dustin would be present in court so his signature wasn't as necessary in advance. Besides, Dustin had asked the assistant if there were any other documents he needed to sign and she said no. See you at the court date, she and the lawyer chimed.

What court date???

I had to change Dustin's ticket. Again. Is it just me or does every post sound the same? People aren't doing their jobs. We are still waiting. No news. Dustin's return date has been postponed. Blah. Blah. It's becoming quite a boring blog. Maybe if I say something like "this is a boring blog," then something exciting will happen. I'm hoping for exciting, but not too exciting (if you know what I mean). That's actually my fear. Our story wouldn't be nearly interesting enough if it just fizzled out with a simple, ho-hum, sign-on-the-dotted-line, "this child is legally yours" piece of paper. I fear for the grand finale.

Back to Dustin's return date. It's now September 23rd - six weeks from now. If things go fast (I'm not sure if a hearty chuckle or high nervous laugh is best here) then we'll move that date up. If September 23rd becomes October-something -- then I have no idea what we'll do.

Dustin is tired. He's ready to come home. Moses has energy. He has no knowledge of a true home. And here am I. Preparing the home. Waiting for it to be full of the joy and love that live just below the surface of baited breath and poor sleep.

***

Here is a new photo I just received! Moses is growing SO much! And look how happy he and his daddy are together.

Friday, August 8, 2008

This Just In

Text message from Dustin:

Judges are on holiday. Lawyer won't know court date til Monday.


Non-text news:

Dustin thinks Moses will be crawling any day now...

Thursday, August 7, 2008

As Expected

It was a false alarm. There was no court date on Thursday. Dustin went to visit the lawyer on Tuesday and learned that Thursday was only the day that the lawyer was going to the court to GET the court date. (We thought he had done this a looooong time ago...) Our court date may be four weeks away still. Or it may be two. Or one. Or ten! Who knows?

The lawyer was pretty annoyed that Dustin had come to visit him. He and his secretary were very clear that THEY would call US when they had news. They were SUPPOSED to call on Thursday (it's now Friday morning there) with the date, but they didn't. Does this surprise anyone?

There are so many reasons why we would really like this adoption to go through a bit quicker. Most are obvious so I have no need to state them. One lesser known reason is that the longer this adoption takes, the more it costs. We will have a nearly (if not over) $2000 rental car bill. It would have been about $700 if we had all been able to come home together in July. This is frustrating on many levels. We don't even have a working car in Portland. It's broken and isn't worth fixing. We get around town via the bus. It takes me an hour to get to work and an hour to get home. That $2000+ could buy us a pretty decent car here. It wouldn't go quite as far to buy one in Malawi - it's still cheaper to rent - but that's becoming less and less true each and every day. And no one there understands that this is a concern. We're white. We have tons of money, right? It's crazy, but this adoption is going to cost about the same amount of money as we made last year. That says more about our income and less about the high cost of adoption. Still, it's mind-numbing. Is it shameless to mention that there's a Baby Moses fund?

Hopefully I'll be able to tell you a very certain date very soon. I'm expecting (and simultaneously not expecting) to have one by tomorrow. We have to alter Dustin's return date again... and we're hoping to be able to make a more educated guess this time. Again, thanks for your concern and your phone calls to ask about Moses and how the court date went today. I'm sorry I missed a call or two. And I'm sorry I didn't update you until now. Keep hoping.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Drumroll please

Here it is. The moment we've been waiting for... We have a court date for this coming Thursday. But don't crash the cymbals just yet. In Malawi, nothing is as it seems. Nothing is as you expect. We're very excited about this new development but we're simultaneously biting our lips and clenching our teeth. Is it legit? First of all, is there really a court date, or is our lawyer just telling us what we want to hear? Secondly, will our lawyer have all the necessary documents to take to court? Thirdly, will all of the necessary players show up at the court, and will they be truthful? And lastly, will the judge rule in our favor? Sorry to get your hopes up and bring them back to earth all in the same paragraph. Very unfair of me.

Honestly, we're incredibly excited. The possibility of Dustin and Moses coming home in just a few weeks is utterly blissful. While I hold this dream, I can't let my guard down until the very end. Not until Dustin and Moses have cleared customs and immigration in Denver (of all places). And most likely, not until they are both in my arms outside United's terminal at PDX. Not until Moses looks at me with those wide dark eyes, raises his double-decker eyebrows and silently says, "Oh, this is where you've been. I've been wondering why you were fired from the orphanage. You seemed to be doing such a good job." You see, Moses doesn't know us as a mother and father. He's never known either. Dustin and I are simply workers at Nyumba ya Chimwemwe (House of Joy). We get peed on and pooped on and make babies eat their porridge. "That's what mothers are," Margaret said. A thing to get peed on. Hopefully he'll come to know us as something more (even if he does revert as a teenager).

Okay, enough rambling. Thursday we have a court date. My hope and prayer is that this will be moved up to Monday or Tuesday. Please don't give up on this possibility (this may be hard for you, as I bashed Thursday's probability) and continue to pray that we go to court early next week. I believe it can all happen. I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.

If that's not motivational, then I don't know what is.