Baby black, baby black, baby black mamba

Here I sit on the eve of Dustin's and my eight-year wedding anniversary. Who knew we would wait eight years before having our first child? And who knew he would come from Malawi instead of my womb? I certainly did not. And I certainly could not have written a more beautiful story.

Dustin and Moses are still in Malawi. We had a horrendous time getting Moses' passport. A Malawi immigration official decided to get high and mighty. He started poking around about Dustin's visa (a tourist visa, not a work visa) and declared that no adoption is allowed on a such a visa. He refused to process Moses' passport. Days continued to pass. Our lawyer told us not to worry. He said there was plenty of precedent, and that even Madonna adopted on a tourist visa. Finally our lawyer finagled a meeting with a very busy, higher-up official who finally allowed the passport to go through.

Dustin went to our lawyer's office early last week to secure the passport and pay the bill. Before leaving for the city, he received a text message from the lawyer's assistant that said our legal fee would actually be FOUR TIMES the cost they had quoted us. Dustin met with Sister Mary on the way to the city, who advised Dustin to take the passport and say he would return later to take care of the bill. She agreed the bill was more than exorbitant and told Dustin the maximum he should pay for such a service.

When Dustin arrived at the lawyer's office, the lawyer refused to surrender the passport without full payment of his fees. Dustin tried to negotiate and say that he'd really rather take the passport now and come back to deal with the bill later. Our lawyer became very unreasonable. Dustin was in his office for at least four hours going back and forth, back and forth. Basically, the lawyer was holding Moses' passport at ransom - for four times the cost of his services. Dustin called Sister Mary while the lawyer was out of the room. She was appalled at his behavior (he's a personal friend of hers). She demanded to talk to him. The lawyer refused to talk to her. Hours later (or so I understand) he did call her. But he refused to budge on his fees. Finally, Dustin agreed to pay him just a few hundred dollars less than his asking price (much higher than the advised maximum from the sister) and he finally agreed. Goodbye dollars! Goodbye.

The next day, Dustin drove the passport to the capital, first passing by the doctor's office to get a signature on Moses' required medical examination. [Note: Moses had already had blood work and x-rays done at a doctor's office in Blantyre. But the doctor would not perform the entire medical exam until we had the passport. The problem was, the doctor was going on vacation for Christmas and was completely booked up until January. Fortunately, Dustin was able to bring Moses to the only other embassy-approved doctor (in Lilongwe) who was able to see Moses right away, but wouldn't finalize everything until he saw the passport. Sorry for the details, but I don't want to forget the progression later.]

As of Wednesday, the embassy had all of our documents: our visa applications (technically we are "sponsoring an immigrant"), our bank statements, our W2s, our pay stubs, the adoption decree, Moses' vaccination waiver, his medical exam, copies of all of our passports, notarized this and that... and the documents I had sent via DHL. There were enough forms to wallpaper Donald Trump's house.

The only way for Dustin and Moses to keep their December 13th return date was for the embassy to completely approve Moses' visa by the end of the day Wednesday. This wasn't able to happen. So we rebooked. The next available ticket was for Christmas eve and Christmas day. We took it.

Dustin and Moses have an interview (apparently it's an adjudication) tonight at the embassy. We hope to have a formal visa by Thursday or Friday of this week. There's really nothing that should stand in the way of their December 25th return date. We expect them at 6 pm. Oh holy night!

There's not a whole lot for Dustin to do at this point. I suggested he and Moses take a mini vacation. They did. Dustin, Margaret, and Moses went to the lake the other day. Moses was overwhelmed by the newness of it all. He didn't really get the concept of playing in sand, and seemed afraid of the waves (Lake Malawi can seem more like a sea). It scares me too a bit... but that's mostly because of the hippos, monitor lizards, and schistosomiasis. [grin]

Since Moses wasn't taken by the waves, Dustin took him swimming in a pool at a nearby hotel. He apparently liked that very much and splashed to his heart's content.

In other news, I received a text message from my dear husband this morning, which read, "The US may not be perfect but at least you won't find black mambas in your bathroom!"

Who could not respond to such an intriguing text message? Yes it is true. There was a snake, believed to be a baby black mamba in our bathroom. The bathroom is in our bedroom! Dustin said he was engaged in his routine cockroach killing several nights ago when he saw one that looked a little different... It was partly in a crack in the floor, so he couldn't really crush it properly before it disappeared. He thought little of it until he was sitting on the toilet (I believe that's what he said) when a baby snake came out of the hole and coiled itself up very near Dustin. I don't particularly know how Dustin got himself out of there safely, but he did. He called Margaret but before they could do anything the snake had got back into it's hole in the cement floor.

Margaret claims raw onions drive away snakes, so she proceeded to chop up tons of onions and sprinkle them all over our house, including in our closet, our drawers, and all over Dustin and Moses' clothes. They slept until morning when our watchman cemented up the hole. Margaret, who is either hilariously optimistic or intensely dishonest when it comes to snakes, claims that her onions would have been enough even without the cement job.

It's possible you don't know much about the black mamba. I've selected a few choice passages from Wikipedia. Grandparents of Moses: PLEASE STOP READING NOW!!! I mean it!

The Black Mamba (Dendroaspis polylepis), is an elapid snake and is one of Africa's most dangerous and feared snakes...It is known for being very aggressive when disturbed or confronted and will not hesitate to strike with deadly precision.

The black mamba is the largest venomous snake in Africa and the second longest venomous snake in the world. Adult black mambas have an average length of 8.2 ft... Of the venomous snakes of the world, only the King Cobra is longer.

When warding off a bigger threat or feeling very threatened, the black mamba usually delivers multiple strikes, injecting its potent neuro- and cardiotoxin with each strike, often attacking the body or head, unlike most other snakes. It can strike up to 12 times in a row. A single bite from a black mamba can inject enough venom to kill up to 10 grown men, easily killing one unless the appropriate anti-venom is administered in time. When cornered, it will readily attack. When in the striking position, the mamba flattens its neck, hisses very loudly and displays its inky black mouth and fangs. It can rear up around one-third of its body from the ground, which allows it to reach heights of approximately four feet.

Without treatment the mortality rate is nearly 100%, the highest among venomous snakes. Depending on the nature of a bite, death can, and has resulted in as little as 15-30 minutes or it may take up to 120-180 minutes.

.......

There was likely a black mamba on the same floor where my son plays. Baby black mambas are equally as deadly, if not more so because they are unable to control the amount of poison they release...


Christmas can't come too soon.