Alarming news

Hi Everybody,
Sorry it's taken me so long to give you more adoption news. If there was any reason to jump up and down I would have certainly let you know. We've basically been in a holding pattern for weeks - simply waiting for the Social Welfare Officer (SWO) to finish his report for the judge. (Don't forget, the SWO was given this charge four months ago and it would only take about 10 minutes to complete.) Just yesterday, we found ourselves in a very strange predicament with the adoption and I'd like to share what's going on.

Throughout the past weeks, our lawyer has been keeping the judge abreast of our case. Supposedly the judge was getting annoyed that the SWO had not yet produced the report and said he would be willing to consider a report from our lawyer if he could get the SWO to sign it. They are calling this document the affidavit. Our lawyer drew up the affidavit and brought it to the SWO. He refused to sign it. He claimed that he wanted to create the actual report and that he'd get around to it in due time.

Yesterday we received the somewhat alarming news that the SWO's refusal to sign the affidavit is related to much more than his own pride and prejudice. We learned, somewhat skeptically, that the SWO's superiors have ordered a halt on all adoptions by foreigners. Supposedly the government is reassessing its adoption policy and the SWO claims he cannot write us any report or sign any affidavit. On the one hand, it's good for them to reassess adoption policy (perhaps more children could find good homes) if the process was clearer. On the other hand, this reassessment process would likely take MANY MONTHS. The rumor is that this standstill is related to Madonna's attempt to adopt a second child from Malawi. Why does that woman have to cause me so much grief?

So what are we going to do?

Our lawyer has drawn up an excellent petition stating that law and not policy guide adoption in Malawi. No law has changed. He also states we started our adoption under particular conditions and should not be victim to any alterations in these mid-process. He charges the SWO with not looking after the child's best interest, as the law states that a child being placed in an orphanage should be a last resort, especially when there is a willing family. The petition also clarifies a misstep our first lawyer made in appointing the SWO as guardian ad litem when the orphanage is actually overseeing his well-being.

Either yesterday or today, the lawyer was planning to bring this petition to the registrar at the court. This petition asks for the judge to give us another court date and asks him to forgo any report from Social Welfare. It asks for the judge to hear our case based on the evidence from the orphanage, the police, and our very thorough, very expensive home study report from the United States. The lawyer anticipates hearing back from the court by Friday about a date for our future hearing.

It's hard not to feel down after news of this magnitude. The Social Welfare is refusing to finish our adoption after we've invested eight grueling, long months of our lives - half of them apart from each other. After we've invested nearly, if not over, $15,000 - every single penny from my new job and some from our friends. It's hard to not feel down after we've invested every thread, sinew, and synapse of our beings into loving two children who have never known love. It feels like a real slap in the face.

Our friend Margaret, in her own words, said you know you're a mother when you're covered in shit. If I wasn't a mother before, I am now. And it stinks.

But I didn't write this post to depress you or to wallow in any of my own despair. I wrote to ask you to summon every ounce of goodness in the galaxy, in God, in your being, and to pray for Moses like you never prayed before. And to pray for the judge. And our lawyer. And Dustin. And me.

Dustin and I are covering up this hard news with soft images of our little family together. Lying in our bed with Moses in the middle as Dustin's sings him to sleep with the lullaby he composed. Sitting in our living room reading our assortment of children's books while our dog Hans tries to lick Moses all over. Feeding Moses turkey for the first time at the family dinner table as we tearfully share how we're more thankful than we've ever been before.

I have always believed in the power of prayer and positive thinking. I ask you to join me in imagining the joy and laughter that are to come.