We talked to Margaret this morning, 21 days since Moses took his test. Margaret's voice gave away the answer before her words could. "I have news." Sure enough, all of our beliefs and hopes have been true. He's HIV negative. Alex of Johns Hopkins says so.
I have to run to work, so I don't have time to write more. We are VERY excited! I'll talk about details soon.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Mwina Mawa?
Maybe tomorrow? As our silence has likely already said, we are still waiting... In Malawi, it's always: "Come back tomorrow." The train could have not worked for three years, and yet still the station worker would say "Come back tomorrow." I know this. In my head.
I'm anxious for all of the obvious reasons. One of the not-so-obvious is that we need to put a non-refundable deposit down tomorrow for our adoption home study. This will likely only be necessary (at this time) if the test results are favorable.
It's very difficult to sleep at night. I've asked Margaret to call us immediately, no matter the time of day or night. Each night I think, "Margaret may be calling in an hour or two." It's very hard to settle in. I feel similarly to when Johnny called and said my sister-in-law Katie was going into labor. Who could sleep at a time like that? I knew I could get the call any minute saying it was time for me to come to the hospital to watch my niece be born.
I'm waiting to hear if my son will be born. Into my life. And yet my uterus can't contract to let me know the time is near. A doctor can't see how many centimeters I've dilated. All I can do is wait for "Alex" to call Margaret who will in turn call me and Dustin.
Maybe tomorrow.
I'm anxious for all of the obvious reasons. One of the not-so-obvious is that we need to put a non-refundable deposit down tomorrow for our adoption home study. This will likely only be necessary (at this time) if the test results are favorable.
It's very difficult to sleep at night. I've asked Margaret to call us immediately, no matter the time of day or night. Each night I think, "Margaret may be calling in an hour or two." It's very hard to settle in. I feel similarly to when Johnny called and said my sister-in-law Katie was going into labor. Who could sleep at a time like that? I knew I could get the call any minute saying it was time for me to come to the hospital to watch my niece be born.
I'm waiting to hear if my son will be born. Into my life. And yet my uterus can't contract to let me know the time is near. A doctor can't see how many centimeters I've dilated. All I can do is wait for "Alex" to call Margaret who will in turn call me and Dustin.
Maybe tomorrow.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Still Waiting
I haven't posted for some time. There has been relatively little news to report. Our contact at Johns Hopkins (where the HIV test took place) is coming to America for two weeks. She won't be able to deliver the news herself. She was very kind to call Margaret and say that a certain man would be calling with the results. It looks like Tuesday or Wednesday will be the day. I would be lying if I said these last few days aren't grueling.
I'll just leave it at that. We'll let you know the results soon.
I'll just leave it at that. We'll let you know the results soon.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Moses is a Doll
Dustin and I expected to wake up Monday morning to a picture of Moses. We did not. We expected Margaret to be in Blantyre. She was not. Apparently she had to go to the police again with the chief and the birth mother. The chief was late and they had to go find the mother. The ordeal took up the entire day. We went to bed last night hopeful that THIS morning would be the morning, and it was!
Margaret had hired a photographer in Balaka to take a photo of Moses, but it came back so dark that she said it wasn't worth sending. Fortunately, she went to a photo studio in the city where they were able to put the image on a CD for her (who knew?). We woke this morning to his little tuft of hair, bright eyes, soft mouth and chubby cheeks! We can't take our eyes off of him. Now when we hear him cry and laugh, we can see his adorable little face.
Margaret said he's gained a bit of weight in the past few weeks. He used to have some mosquito bites on his face and hands. But now he's looking happy and healthy and hunky.
He also went for his HIV test. Margaret signed his name "Moses Khumbo Pattison." The American worker at the clinic met Margaret and walked her through everything step by step. Moses cried for quite some time after his blood was drawn. Margaret said they took quite a bit of blood - not just a little prick as with other tests. We expect to hear the results in two weeks. Ten business days. April 22nd.
Margaret is staying in Blantyre for another day to buy him clothes. It's starting to get cold there at night. Dustin and I also did some shopping of our own: a few onesies and pants and socks for Dustin to deliver in May. (We sent some other items in the mail last week. I almost laughed when the postman said they would arrive in 6-10 days. Time will tell.)
I'd better get going. I have e-mailed the photo to a number of you, but if I've missed anyone, please e-mail me at my Gmail account. It's my first and last name at gmail.com. Talk to you soon!
P.S. The "agogo" of Moses (below) is actually not his real grandma, but is in fact Margaret. Sorry if I confused anyone. In Malawi, any older woman is one's "grandmother" and every woman is one's "mayi" or "mother." What a beautiful world!
Margaret had hired a photographer in Balaka to take a photo of Moses, but it came back so dark that she said it wasn't worth sending. Fortunately, she went to a photo studio in the city where they were able to put the image on a CD for her (who knew?). We woke this morning to his little tuft of hair, bright eyes, soft mouth and chubby cheeks! We can't take our eyes off of him. Now when we hear him cry and laugh, we can see his adorable little face.
Margaret said he's gained a bit of weight in the past few weeks. He used to have some mosquito bites on his face and hands. But now he's looking happy and healthy and hunky.
He also went for his HIV test. Margaret signed his name "Moses Khumbo Pattison." The American worker at the clinic met Margaret and walked her through everything step by step. Moses cried for quite some time after his blood was drawn. Margaret said they took quite a bit of blood - not just a little prick as with other tests. We expect to hear the results in two weeks. Ten business days. April 22nd.
Margaret is staying in Blantyre for another day to buy him clothes. It's starting to get cold there at night. Dustin and I also did some shopping of our own: a few onesies and pants and socks for Dustin to deliver in May. (We sent some other items in the mail last week. I almost laughed when the postman said they would arrive in 6-10 days. Time will tell.)
I'd better get going. I have e-mailed the photo to a number of you, but if I've missed anyone, please e-mail me at my Gmail account. It's my first and last name at gmail.com. Talk to you soon!
P.S. The "agogo" of Moses (below) is actually not his real grandma, but is in fact Margaret. Sorry if I confused anyone. In Malawi, any older woman is one's "grandmother" and every woman is one's "mayi" or "mother." What a beautiful world!
Friday, April 4, 2008
I Don't Know What to Title This One
The phone lines are working again! Margaret will now be taking little Moses to Blantyre for his HIV test on Monday. We should have the results by May 2nd at the latest. I say this, even though I know this is no guarantee.
Margaret says Moses has a bit of a cough. She took him to the hospital to get some medicine and he seems to be responding to it well. His birth mother is sick with malaria (or a fever of sorts) so Margaret has had little contact with her recently.
Moses and I had a great little chat yesterday morning on the phone. He was sleeping but woke up to say hello. He has a funny sounding cry! I thought he was coughing at first, but Margaret says that's just his voice. Plus, I'm hearing him through static and a 10,000 mile distance. I probably sounded funny to him! Margaret says she's talking to him in English, which is very sweet of her, though we want him to know Chichewa too. Technically, he comes from the Tumbuka tribe, so he should know Chitumbuka as well. I think we'll have to draw a line at Chichewa and English though.
Margaret says they're calling him "Moses Pattison." Dustin and I got quite a kick out of this! They say our last name like "Pot-sun." Moses Pattison.
We may have a picture of Moses as early as Monday. Margaret thinks she'll have access to a scanner. Oh technology, how I love thee. Some good friends of ours are adopting a baby boy from Ethiopia - where the adoption law is much more defined. She mentioned that they're not allowed to post any photos of the child online until the adoption is finalized. So, in keeping with this, we'll likely just e-mail his picture around once we have it.
Now the not so fun stuff. We called and talked to a Malawian social welfare officer yesterday about Moses and our intention to become his foster parents. We met with him in person in January and, fortunately, he remembered us. He told Dustin that it may not be so simple as the mother choosing the foster parents. He made it sound like the child would become a ward of the state, then the government would go down their list and choose the foster parents themselves (meaning, they could not choose us). We were devastated (for all of a minute or two) until we remembered our friend Nancy. Nancy is an American who runs a small project in Malawi. A father approached her, asking her to take care of his daughter because he didn't have much longer to live. She immediately became the child's foster mother and then adopted her several months later. So we know it's possible for the parent to choose the future caregiver. But this interaction is a reminder that nothing is simple in Malawi (at least when government is involved). Fortunately, Nancy has a good relationship with this particular social welfare officer, and she may be willing to be an advocate for us (with him).
Another new piece of info, is that Dustin and I will likely move forward and do a "home study" here in Portland. This involves paying a private adoption agency to study our background, inspect our home and our finances, interview us etc. and then create a court report where they advise whether or not we're fit to foster or adopt. The Malawi government requires us to do a home study there in Malawi, but that process may be quicker and smoother (I emphasize may) if we've already been approved here where the requirements are more stringent.
That's all for today. We'll continue to keep you posted.
Margaret says Moses has a bit of a cough. She took him to the hospital to get some medicine and he seems to be responding to it well. His birth mother is sick with malaria (or a fever of sorts) so Margaret has had little contact with her recently.
Moses and I had a great little chat yesterday morning on the phone. He was sleeping but woke up to say hello. He has a funny sounding cry! I thought he was coughing at first, but Margaret says that's just his voice. Plus, I'm hearing him through static and a 10,000 mile distance. I probably sounded funny to him! Margaret says she's talking to him in English, which is very sweet of her, though we want him to know Chichewa too. Technically, he comes from the Tumbuka tribe, so he should know Chitumbuka as well. I think we'll have to draw a line at Chichewa and English though.
Margaret says they're calling him "Moses Pattison." Dustin and I got quite a kick out of this! They say our last name like "Pot-sun." Moses Pattison.
We may have a picture of Moses as early as Monday. Margaret thinks she'll have access to a scanner. Oh technology, how I love thee. Some good friends of ours are adopting a baby boy from Ethiopia - where the adoption law is much more defined. She mentioned that they're not allowed to post any photos of the child online until the adoption is finalized. So, in keeping with this, we'll likely just e-mail his picture around once we have it.
Now the not so fun stuff. We called and talked to a Malawian social welfare officer yesterday about Moses and our intention to become his foster parents. We met with him in person in January and, fortunately, he remembered us. He told Dustin that it may not be so simple as the mother choosing the foster parents. He made it sound like the child would become a ward of the state, then the government would go down their list and choose the foster parents themselves (meaning, they could not choose us). We were devastated (for all of a minute or two) until we remembered our friend Nancy. Nancy is an American who runs a small project in Malawi. A father approached her, asking her to take care of his daughter because he didn't have much longer to live. She immediately became the child's foster mother and then adopted her several months later. So we know it's possible for the parent to choose the future caregiver. But this interaction is a reminder that nothing is simple in Malawi (at least when government is involved). Fortunately, Nancy has a good relationship with this particular social welfare officer, and she may be willing to be an advocate for us (with him).
Another new piece of info, is that Dustin and I will likely move forward and do a "home study" here in Portland. This involves paying a private adoption agency to study our background, inspect our home and our finances, interview us etc. and then create a court report where they advise whether or not we're fit to foster or adopt. The Malawi government requires us to do a home study there in Malawi, but that process may be quicker and smoother (I emphasize may) if we've already been approved here where the requirements are more stringent.
That's all for today. We'll continue to keep you posted.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Mavuto
Mavuto, I say. Trouble. The phone lines aren't working in Malawi. Last year, there was a fire at the Celtel headquarters and the phone lines were down for weeks. Let's hope this isn't the case again. I seem to get a different error message each time I call. Sometimes it just rings. Sometimes there's a beeping as though the line is busy. Sometimes a British voice says the subscriber is not answering. And sometimes there's some form of muzak playing in the background. Suffice it to say, there's an issue with the phone network. And to that, I say mavuto.
I'm a bit anxious to know if and when Baby Moses is going for his test. We had to send Margaret some money for various baby expenses: transport, the HIV test, and infant formula. We Western Unioned it on Monday, which means she wouldn't have received the money until Tuesday, which means (if Margaret got the e-mail telling her to retrieve the money) that Wednesday would be the soonest Moses could be tested. (And remember that Wednesday morning there is Tuesday night here.) So as I write this, he may have already been tested or could be on the road to Blantyre to get his chubby little arm pricked.
The initial apprehension around Baby Moses has worn off. We are still incredibly excited and hopeful, but we've mellowed out a bit, knowing that there's little to do for the next few weeks. For us, that is.
Margaret is insanely busy–managing our youth centre and staff, teaching women to read and write, caring for Baby Moses, and running errands for us all over the country. We are so grateful to her and for her. Since welcoming Moses into her life, she has met with the chief, the police, and even the District Commissioner. She is making sure that all legal authorities know Moses' history so that we are in a better position to begin moving toward adoption (should this become possible).
I failed to mention that Dustin is taking his next trip to Malawi rather soon (and without me). He leaves on May 27th and returns on June 19th. We're hoping, if Moses is healthy, that Dustin can begin the paperwork for us to become his foster parents. This process will involve the Malawi government's social welfare department and the courts. So, it's likely that Dustin will extend his stay for several weeks or months. I'm having a hard time being content with not going on this next trip. Especially considering that our potential future son is there.
Some of you have asked if we must stay in Malawi for the entire fostering process. The answer is no. We would have to receive special clearance, but we've been told that we could bring a foster child to the States with us, as long as we return to finalize the adoption. I'm sure there's plenty of red tape to cut through (it's Malawi!), but we're in a better position to deal with it all than most would be. We have many years of experience learning the games that government officials like to play.
Something I may not have yet mentioned, is that foreigners are not allowed to adopt in Malawi. The government requires adoptive parents to be Malawi residents. Our nonprofit (and the house we rent there year-round) allows us to qualify (or so we're told). Officials with the State of Oregon recommended we get everything in writing from the Malawi government however, so we don't get part way through the process to find that we were mislead or misinformed. Only six American families have adopted children from Malawi in the past six years. We would be the first ones in Oregon. So there will be plenty of question marks along the way.
I wish I had more to report on Baby Moses, but I haven't been able to touch base with Margaret due to the phone issue. We are also waiting for a picture of him. It will likely take another three weeks for the photos to arrive in the mail. (Anyone want to donate a digital camera to the nonprofit for the future?)
Thanks for all of your prayers and support. They are deeply felt and appreciated!
I'm a bit anxious to know if and when Baby Moses is going for his test. We had to send Margaret some money for various baby expenses: transport, the HIV test, and infant formula. We Western Unioned it on Monday, which means she wouldn't have received the money until Tuesday, which means (if Margaret got the e-mail telling her to retrieve the money) that Wednesday would be the soonest Moses could be tested. (And remember that Wednesday morning there is Tuesday night here.) So as I write this, he may have already been tested or could be on the road to Blantyre to get his chubby little arm pricked.
The initial apprehension around Baby Moses has worn off. We are still incredibly excited and hopeful, but we've mellowed out a bit, knowing that there's little to do for the next few weeks. For us, that is.
Margaret is insanely busy–managing our youth centre and staff, teaching women to read and write, caring for Baby Moses, and running errands for us all over the country. We are so grateful to her and for her. Since welcoming Moses into her life, she has met with the chief, the police, and even the District Commissioner. She is making sure that all legal authorities know Moses' history so that we are in a better position to begin moving toward adoption (should this become possible).
I failed to mention that Dustin is taking his next trip to Malawi rather soon (and without me). He leaves on May 27th and returns on June 19th. We're hoping, if Moses is healthy, that Dustin can begin the paperwork for us to become his foster parents. This process will involve the Malawi government's social welfare department and the courts. So, it's likely that Dustin will extend his stay for several weeks or months. I'm having a hard time being content with not going on this next trip. Especially considering that our potential future son is there.
Some of you have asked if we must stay in Malawi for the entire fostering process. The answer is no. We would have to receive special clearance, but we've been told that we could bring a foster child to the States with us, as long as we return to finalize the adoption. I'm sure there's plenty of red tape to cut through (it's Malawi!), but we're in a better position to deal with it all than most would be. We have many years of experience learning the games that government officials like to play.
Something I may not have yet mentioned, is that foreigners are not allowed to adopt in Malawi. The government requires adoptive parents to be Malawi residents. Our nonprofit (and the house we rent there year-round) allows us to qualify (or so we're told). Officials with the State of Oregon recommended we get everything in writing from the Malawi government however, so we don't get part way through the process to find that we were mislead or misinformed. Only six American families have adopted children from Malawi in the past six years. We would be the first ones in Oregon. So there will be plenty of question marks along the way.
I wish I had more to report on Baby Moses, but I haven't been able to touch base with Margaret due to the phone issue. We are also waiting for a picture of him. It will likely take another three weeks for the photos to arrive in the mail. (Anyone want to donate a digital camera to the nonprofit for the future?)
Thanks for all of your prayers and support. They are deeply felt and appreciated!
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