Moses, 7 months tomorrow

Okay, I can't take it anymore. I originally said I wouldn't post any photos until the adoption was final... but this photo Dustin sent me is so beautiful (and so uplifting after Moses had been so sick) that I just have to post it.

We continue to need and appreciate your prayers as we trudge forward with this adoption. (I hope we're moving forward, that is.) We're still waiting for a court date - hoping and praying for a day early next week. But as in pregnancy, we have no control over when this baby is "born." Unlike pregnancy, we can't get a C-section if we're past due. Sister Mary says we're in labor now. Our labor pains aren't measured in hours, but in weeks and months. I'm not saying it's more painful (I have nothing to compare it to). It's just different.

If only I had someone to tell me how many centimeters we're at...

Hoping for an August return date

We are really hoping Dustin and Moses will return in August. Can you believe August is just a few days away? We could really use your prayer energy about this adoption being finalized soon. I don't think I can last much longer than August 14th without our little family being together. Of course, I can... So far, I've been pretty amazed at my (and Dustin's) strength reserves. I think we're going to collapse when this is all over. Collapse and then sleep for a month. Oh wait. We'll have a little baby keeping us up at night.

The reason I started out with the bit about August is that Dustin's not thinking it's likely he'll be home on the 14th. Things aren't moving very quickly in the legal department. Our lawyer (this is the second one - we fired the first guy) is a very wealthy, important man and we've learned that it's best not to push powerful people in Malawi. We want him our side. We have a friend named Sister Mary who is an Italian Catholic nun. She is the founder of the orphanage where Moses lives and she has helped coordinate several adoptions for Italian families. She's the one who recommended we change lawyers. Sister Mary is our liason to the new lawyer. The two have great rapport and are quite jovial together. Sister Mary has been in Malawi for 22 years and she can joke and laugh and sit and speak and be just the way the Malawians joke and laugh and sit and speak and be. She is amazing and she will undoubtedly be an invaluable resource throughout the rest of this process. Sister Mary met with our lawyer last week and followed up with him on Friday. He said that he'll call her with an update on Tuesday. We're all hopeful that the "update" will contain a court date. A court date for later that week.

As for Moses, he's doing well. Dustin says he 100% better. If not 100%, over 100%! Moses spends his days singing now. Dustin seems hopeful for another musician in the family. Moses has been gaining a lot of strength and is able to put weight on his legs and dance around a bit. He's gained some weight back and is at least the size he was before he became sick. Moses is even crying some more: when he's hungry, when he's wet. We're probably the only parents who rejoice when their child cries.

While Dustin endures the long days of waiting, I've been getting the "nest" ready. My parents came up this week and did some work on our house. We installed carpet over some rather funky linoleum and made the space into a play area for Moses. In the process we had to remove the baseboards, which led to sanding, painting, and reinstalling them. This made the rest of the baseboards in the house look terrible... so I spent today painting the rest of them, along with the door and window trim (they all needed to match). I figure I might as well get these projects out of the way now while I still have a few hands free.

Well, I wish I had more exciting stuff to report. Well, there is one exciting thing, I guess. The local SWO who refused to finish our report (and who accused us of possibly not being good parents) is being taken to court by his ex-girlfriend. Apparently she has a new man in her life which made the SWO extremely jealous. Now (according to our sources) whenever he sees her coming back from the market he steals her groceries and physically assaults her. This is the man who is in charge of Moses' "welfare." This is the man who snickered when he said he didn't know if we were "fit parents" because we're sometimes prone to frustration with ridiculous Social Welfare Officers.

All in a day in Malawi.

Not much news

I'm back in Portland safe and sound. Actually, I've been home for a week and have just neglected this blog. I jumped back into work only a day after arriving home, so I've been tired to say the least.

While I was traveling (and for the first few days after arriving home) I was concerned that Moses may have sustained permanent brain damage due to how severely dehydrated he was. He basically shriveled up like a little raisin and I was convinced he was dying in my arms on our way to the hospital. That may not have been far from the truth. Fortunately, we'll never have to know.

After five days in the hospital he was released back to the orphanage. His body was so weak he could no longer sit up or move his arms around. His eyes lacked life and he was completely listless. Dustin wondered if Moses' high fevers had killed off too many brain cells. Dustin never worries about things like this, so I started worrying about Dustin's worry. All we could do was wait and see if Moses improved. It's taken a week since he was released from the hospital, but Moses has regained his curiosity and personality. He's now smiling again and even laughing. Dustin seems quite proud of the laughs he can now induce in Moses. I think we were being too gentle with him before. Malawians are pretty rough with their babies - which the babies apparently like. I can't wait to hear the raucous laughter.

Meanwhile, it seems that things are moving along in the legal department. Dustin should be talking to the lawyer on the phone today. He plans to go to the city on Tuesday to sign some legal papers for the court. The lawyer thinks he has all of the documents necessary for going to court. As far as the SWO's report goes, we're still in the dark. We haven't spoken to either the local or head SWO in weeks. We're just putting our faith in the lawyer that he can help our case with the Social Welfare or without. Apparently it's a bit difficult to get a court date quickly, as our case has to be seen at the High Court. Even so, we're hopeful that it can all work out smoothly and in time for Dustin and Moses to return in mid-August.

Moses is sick

Little Moses is sick and in the hospital. He's been vomiting and having severe diarrhea for the last five days. He's grown so dehydrated that he's been admitted to the hospital where they can monitor his fluid intake. Dustin and I drove him to the hospital yesterday and visited again early this morning.  We were told he's doing a bit better, but he's still incredibly weak and the diarrhea continues. The nurses believe he has some sort of an intestinal infection. He has lost a lot of weight, not good for an already small baby. I can't even tell you how awful he looks. We're hoping the diarrhea will stop soon and that he'll begin gaining weight and strength.

 

Dustin and I are now in the capitol city, Lilongwe. I fly out in the morning. It's very hard to leave with our baby in the hospital, but that's the way it has to be. I'll write more after I get back to Portland.

July 8

Oh Friends,
I don't even know how to begin to describe the events of the past few days. In fact, I think it would take several days to relay all that has happened. I'm writing you from an internet cafe (as opposed to a laptop) so this will be brief.

Basically:
-Our local Social Welfare Officer did not finish his report on the necessary day. He said it would be done by Friday. It wasn't.
-Our local SWO told us we could bring little Moses home with us, to start taking care of him. We went to pick him only to find out the SWO was misinformed. A tragic day.
-The SWO has told us many lies.
-The SWO started blocking our phone calls, refusing to answer. The SWO is never at the office. No way to get a hold of him.
-Dustin and I got annoyed with the SWO and told him he didn't seem to have the welfare of the child in mind. (Wrong move.)
-The SWO refused to finish our report stating that he didn't know if we were "fit to care for a child" due to our impatience toward him. He basically wants to make us desparate so we'll give him a bribe.
-The police finished their investigation and report but refused to hand it over to us. The presence of the SWO (who refused to come) was necessary.
-A long holiday weekend meant there was nothing to do until Monday. Nothing to do but worry.

Today, we left our home at 5 am to pick up Moses at the orphanage and head to Blantyre to meet the Regional SWO, the boss of the one described above. We drove for three hours to meet him. We waited in his office for two hours until he saw us. We explained the situation and were hoping that he would do away with the local report and create his own. The head office called our local SWO and asked him when his report would be finished. He said Friday. Friday = Cara can't go to court. This is frowned upon but there's nothing else we can do. We don't even expect the report to be finished by Friday. The guy is a liar. In fact, he lied to the head boss that the police report wasn't yet ready, when in fact, it is.

What this all means:
I leave Malawi on Saturday. Dustin will have to stay - likely for another 3-4 weeks. The SWO probably won't finish his report by Friday. We'll then have to come back and forth to Blantyre to try to strongarm him to finish. Then we'll go to court and fight for a final adoption. Then Dustin will arrange all of the immigration stuff... Four weeks is optimistic... (Though it could all be done in just a week if people actually did their jobs!)

We are trying to maintain our sanity through it all. Thanks for your prayers.

July 2

The SWO's report is not yet finished. We are waiting on the police. They opened a case, back in January when Moses A. was born, to search for his birth mother. There is a particular woman in question but she denies she is the mother. The thing is, the police haven't yet closed the case. We can't go to court until they close the case. Our SWO here in Balaka is trying to get them to close it – as simple as the police just saying, "case closed," so we can move on with the adoption. He seems fairly confident that they won't need to continue the search for the parents. (It's not like they're actually searching anyway. They probably did for a day back in January. They didn't "close the case" because there was no need to actually do so).  

 

The SWO came to our home at 7:30 this morning to inspect our house. After viewing mounds of clothes, toys, and a mountain of imported infant formula, he said we seemed to be very prepared for a child. The SWO has the power to decide when Moses A. can come home with us. He thinks he will give us permission by the end of the week. He would prefer for the police report to be finalized before this happens.

 

So… we are still waiting.

 

Meanwhile, we've asked our lawyer to try to secure a court date without the police and SWO reports. It can't hurt to try. The reason we're trying to rush things is so I can also appear before court. My presence doesn't seem to be mandatory, though it would be beneficial. It's looking less likely that we'll all come home together… but you never know. The tricky thing is, we need to change Dustin's ticket if he's to come home at a later date. And we'll just have to guess when things will be finished up. Hopefully we'll be given a court date soon so we can make a more informed guess.

July 1

I guess it's been over a week since I last wrote. The days truly are flying by. I'm only here for 11 more.

 

There is, unfortunately, not much to report on Moses Khumbo. The Social Welfare Officer (SWO) in Blantyre said he would be willing to sit down with Johanna (the birth mother), Margaret, and the grandfather to sort out some of the family issues and hopefully return the child to Balaka. We offered to support Johanna with school fees and she agreed to start classes a week ago. The idea was that Margaret could act as a mother to Johanna and a grandmother to Khumbo – and they could all live here together for the time being. The SWO agreed that the baby is not safe with his grandfather and that the child should be returned to Balaka. Even so, he said it would be easier to do that if Johanna showed she was getting her life back in order.

 

Over a week has passed without seeing Johanna. She never reported for school. Never came to our place. We've been going to her house to try to find her, to no avail. We just heard yesterday that some of Johanna's "friends" are upset that she wasn't arrested for abandoning the baby way back when. Another mutual "friend" was given three years in prison for doing exactly what Johanna did. I'm not sure why they are trying to make this sad girl's life even more miserable, but these young women have been influencing the police to arrest Johanna. She is apparently in hiding. We're not even sure if she's in Balaka. She may have left town. She has no phone number. No address. We have no way to contact her.

 

We have made several trips to Blantyre in the past week or so. Each time, we pass the very house in which Moses Khumbo is staying with his grandfather. The child I never got to meet is right inside.

 

I'm having trouble remembering exactly what I wrote in my last post, so I'm sorry if I repeat information. I know I introduced Moses Alinafe and our hope to adopt him. (By the way, Alinafe means "God is with us." It's pronounced All-lee-nah-fay.) We have visited him at the orphanage every day for the past 12 days. Each time we spend about two hours with him. We look forward to the day when we don't have to drive for 45 minutes to see him. Moses Alinafe cracks me up. Every time I think about his serious little face and pouty lips, I laugh out loud. He is very stoic, very observant, quite curious. It takes him some time, each time, to warm up to us. He's not used to being held and played with – though he now seems content to soak up our attention. After about 30 minutes together, we can get plenty of smiles out of him. When we leave him, he now cries a little – a great breakthrough for a child who never cries.

 

Our lawyer has filed an adoption petition with the high court. The court also granted the SWO in Blantyre to be the child's "guardian ad litem." Since Moses A. has no known parents, the SWO will act as his guardian. We are now waiting for a SWO here in Balaka to create a report for the court. We were supposed to meet him last Tuesday, but he decided to go out of town (and not tell us). We finally met yesterday (Monday) for the first time. (So yes, on Tues, Wed, Thurs, and Fri we had nothing to do but wait.) The SWO accompanied us to the orphanage and took notes on Moses A.'s situation. He tried to contact the police officers who originally dealt with the case back in January, when Moses was born. They said they were "not yet prepared to give any information." This probably means that they can't find the file. Supposedly they will call with the information today. We hope and pray they find the report. If they can't, they will likely have to conduct a new search for the baby's relatives – which could take a long time and possibly yield another grandfather who claims he had no knowledge of the child before now.

 

Our lawyer says it's imperative for the SWO to finish the report today, if we are to go to court in the next week or so. Apparently we can't schedule a court date without that report in hand. So the next hope is to get a court date for early next week. IF we get a court date for Tuesday or Wednesday… AND the court grants a final adoption order (meaning no foster period)… THEN it's POSSIBLE that we could all leave on July 12^th as planned. It's a long shot… but we've seen plenty of miracles in the past.

 

The SWO in Blantyre (Moses A.'s guardian) plans to recommend that the court grant us a final adoption order. This is excellent news. Of course, it's all up to the judge, but it's likely that we won't have to go through a lengthy foster process prior to an adoption. That's our hope anyway.

 

Once we get a final adoption order, there's still much to do before we leave the country. We have to get the child a birth certificate and passport. He has to have a medical evaluation at the embassy. And we have to file: an affidavit of support, a vaccine waiver, a petition for the child to come to the States, and a visa application, etc. This will all take several days, if not a week.

 

There's much to do, but right now all we can do is wait. I'm not very good at waiting.

 

I'll write again when we have more to report.